Connection is something we all crave.
If we tend to isolate or avoid other people we still need a sense of connection. That can come from within and often that is where it starts. The challenge is believing you are worthy of connection even to yourself. We often look externally for validation, acceptance and connection. If we can begin by getting those things internally, the external usually follows. If we believe we are enough just the way we are, isn’t it natural that others will also? So how do we do this?
Taking the time to be with ourselves is the first step. Brief moments of just “being” is a start. Taking the time to sit, and allow thoughts, feelings and emotions to come exactly as they do. Trying not force beliefs, what we “should” be or do, or how we should present to others. By building that connection to our internal self, we can begin to address our fears or beliefs that confirm negative thoughts about ourselves. By asking ourselves, “what do I need right now” and listening, we can build a sense of safety, not physical, but emotional.
A lot of us don’t even know what it means to feel emotionally safe. We can start by looking for what makes us feel unsafe. It is often thoughts about ourselves that stem from years of our experiences. Many of us have experienced trauma and this can look like many things. Perhaps how we were raised, how we interacted with our peer groups, significant events or losses. By avoiding these experiences, we are avoiding healing. It is not necessary to share these experiences with others to heal, it is necessary to share them with ourselves however. By giving ourselves the time and space to “listen within” we can wade through our fears and gain strength from our core being. What beliefs are these parts of us holding? What do they want us to know. How are we experiencing this physically when we sit with these thoughts? By getting to know what brings us fear, we can allow ourselves to connect to our internal thoughts, feelings and emotions around this. Through this connection we can repair the disconnect of emotional safety and start to rebuild that internal connection allowing us to feel safe with external connection.
By: Liz McCall